Email

Ok so this necessarily is not an omegle post, but rather an amusing email I received recently in regards to asking questions on Yahoo Questions. Over the summer I asked a couple of legitimate questions, but found it enticing to ask relatively perverse and perplexing questions.

Obviously Yahoo doesn't take kindly to my antics.

Your question has been reported by the Yahoo! Answers community

Hi Joe,

The question you asked on Yahoo! Answers was reported by the Answers community:

"How does one "eat out" a pussy?"

This question has been removed. You may not have realized this, but all questions submitted on Yahoo! Answers must comply with theAnswers Community Guidelines.

If you believe that your question does not violate the Answers Community Guidelines, and would like to appeal the removal of your question, you can have your case reviewed by Answers Customer Care. You have 7 days to submit your appeal.

Appeal this decision:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/appeal?qid=20100730040502AAOdnFs

Thanks,
Yahoo! Answers Team

No problem, Yahoo. Just to clarify, I just wanted further sexual education nothing more nor less.

My conclusion: some fat middle aged bitch know-it-all from Cleveland who probably has nothing better to do with her time at her dead end job, probably came across this and realized that no one would dare to touch her inappropriately so she had to fucking ruin my amusement because the question slightly skewed the terms of use agreement that everyone has to agree to before posting anything. You know what?

I guess that's what 4chan is all about.

Stanky Bitch

Omegle conversation log

2010-12-26

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: mame?

You: how are things?

Stranger: u r from/

You: yes i am from /

You: we use / all the time

Stranger: m/f?

You: what are you exactly asking?

Stranger: ur english is so week

You: if you are asking me if a celebrate christmas, then yes i most certainly do!!

You: my english is what?

Stranger: ur from?

You: i am not from question mark

You: i am from slash

Stranger: im asking ur male or f male?

You: what is a f male?

Stranger: maderchod teri ma ka

You: sim sim sala bim!

You: i am a female

You: why does that matter?

You: ;)

Stranger: from

You: oh

You: im from alagair

You: im currently employed in the gumdrop forrest

Stranger: mai tere ko chodna chahta hoon

You: down candycane lane

Stranger: r u outlaw

You: tera lim dala yum fung ha schwa

You: an outlaw?

You: noooooooooooo

You: are.....you???

Stranger: u r talking in which language

You: alagarian

Stranger: tera lim like that

Stranger: ur name?

You: my dialect is from the gumdrop forest even though i specifically come from the marmalade sands of the unearthed knolls of time

Stranger: i m aakif arbaz

You: really? that is so interesting

You: can you please tell me where osama bin laden is hiding?

Stranger: i m a muslim

Stranger: and u

You: yeah, where is osama bin laden hiding

You: me?

You: i gave you my nationality, you fucking dipshit

Stranger: i dont know

You: im from the goddamn gumdrop forest

You: coming from the marmalade sands of the unearthed knolls of time

Stranger: tell me ur name

You: you fucking dick

You: my name?

You: you can find me on faceboo

You: book

Stranger: maderchod teri ma ko chodenge

You: my name is al rasheed-joe-al-hassir-kingston- ka-majal

You: hey watch your fucking language

You: what is your name?

You: oh i already know it

You: 'little bitch

Stranger: aakif and utr

You: and a 'aakif and utr' to you too! :D

Stranger: u raskal i know u r india

Stranger: u r bitch

You: wow that is totally how an inhabitant of india would spell rascal

You: i am currently laughing my dick off

You: me? a bitch?

Stranger: ur parents r also

You: i implore you to eat a cow

You: go eat one

You: om

Stranger: india is great

You: nom

You: nom

You: yes it is

You: but you're being a fucking dick

Stranger: it is not lke ur country

You: don't you have a bazaar to attend to? or a carpet to train?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Merry Christmas (02)

Omegle conversation log

2010-12-25

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: hey:)

You: how are things?

Stranger: lol their alright, whats ur name?

You: my name is joe

You: and yourself?

Stranger: my name is Emma

You: greetings, emma

Stranger: nice to meet u Joe:p

You: same to you

Stranger: so where are u from:)?

You: i am from alagair

You: and yourself?

Stranger: im from denmark

You: very cool

You: were you visited by the danish santa?

You: did he stuff your stocking? ;)

Stranger: haha no, i dont really believe in santa lol

You: would you like me to stuff your stocking?

You: oh that's fine

Stranger: how old are u?

You: my age?

You: oh

You: 19

Stranger: im alot younger lol

You: JACKPOT

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Merry Christmas! (01)

Omegle conversation log

2010-12-25

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: merry christmas

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Was this conversation great? Download the log!

I hope he/she fucking dies.

Do You Celebrate Christmas? (02)

Omegle conversation log

2010-12-19

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: hola

Stranger: alright

Stranger: this isnt going anywhere

You: sup mayne

You: huh

Stranger: okay

You: um

You: nice

Stranger: you said maybe

You: hot

Stranger: mayne*

You: maybe what

Stranger: shit man

You: ikr

You: so

Stranger: are you a dude or chick?

You: you celibrate christmas?

You: im a female

You: with

You: boobs and all

Stranger: yeees

Stranger: im a chick

You: ikr

Stranger: i got em too

You: oh

You: um

You: nice

Stranger: twinz

You: i guess i can go for that

You: so now what

Stranger: im kidding

You: how can we make this a merry christmas?

Stranger: but i am a chick

Stranger: i dunno

Stranger: we get married?

Stranger: have a family

Stranger: retire to florida

You: oh

You: um

You: ok

You: no

You: not florida

You: only fags reside there

Stranger: hawaii?

Stranger: stay home in australia?

You: only hawains reside there

Stranger: damn son

Stranger: alright

Stranger: where do you want to go?

You: um

You: how about

You: your house

You: then

You: we go to canada

Stranger: alright sweet

You: nice

Stranger: can we own a pet moose?

You: we can get a pet anything

Stranger: oh baby

Stranger: you treat me so good

You: let's get a pet gerbil

You: shove it in my pussy

You: etc.

Stranger: it might befriend your lady bits and never want to leave

You: i have a goldfish in there

You: it's fine

Stranger: o alright

Stranger: so it wont get hungry or lonely

Stranger: good good

You: all playful and such

Stranger: we should put a running wheel in there

Stranger: so it doesnt get bored

You: oh yes

You: but we gotta find one of those metal ones

You: because those plastic ones

You: break in there

You: and

You: well

You: it's a pain to get out

Stranger: yeah

You: though there's that cage in my sphincter

Stranger: the paint wont chip

Stranger: also

Stranger: i was thinking we should also get him a name tag]

Stranger: so they know who is who in there

You: i can see it now

You: in all caps

You: S*E*X D*E*M*O*N

Stranger: xD

You: with bling n' shit

Stranger: only way to go

You: that's hawtt

You: so now that we discussed this pet fiasco of ours

You: we need to plan the honey moon

Stranger: yes!

Stranger: i was thinking

Stranger: whips

You: im fine with just intercourse on the couch

Stranger: leather

You: oh fuck

You: nice

Stranger: and a double ended dildo

You: like

You: omg

You: and one of those freaky-deaky jerk-off machines

You: and a vacuum cleaner

Stranger: yes!

You: you ever try with a vacuum cleaner

You: hoover makes a damn good brand just for these occasions

Stranger: really?

Stranger: ahh yes

You: yes

You: and those hand-held vacuums

Stranger: with all of those fancy add ons

You: perfect for the anus

You: yes

You: yes

You: yes

Stranger: ah yes you are right

Stranger: lots of variety too

You: nice sounds like it'll be a GREAT christmas

You have disconnected.

"Do You Celebrate Christmas?" (01)

Omegle conversation log

2010-12-6

You: hello

Stranger: hi

Stranger: how r u?

You: im alright

You: and yourself?

Stranger: me2

Stranger: where from u?

You: im from poland

You: and yourself?

Stranger: u male or fe:?

Stranger: me from bangladesh

You: oh really?

You: i would never have guessed

You: i heard that place is a real shithole

You: sorry to hear it

Stranger: its ok

You: good

You: ur surrounded in poop

Stranger: ur name pls?

You: my name

You: is

You: joe kingston

Stranger: nice name

You: thank you

You: i made it up

You: and yours?

Stranger: me rashed

Stranger: what do u do?

You: i am a systems analyst at the university of chimognowek in warsaw

Stranger: great

You: currently running and burning unwanted CPU files so the government does not find out our plans

You: and you?

Stranger: i am student of dania university college

Stranger: oh

You: oh

You: how's that going?

Stranger: not bad

You: good

You: because i hear that the deodorant industry is flourshing

You: and you know what that means

You: more deodorant for poor people

You: everyone will smell fucking great

You: you know what

You: nothing smells worse than a poverty stricken child in a third world country

You: that's what Old Spice is trying to do

You: a literal ethnic cleansing

You: ethnic 'freshening' if you will

Stranger: hm

You: you agree?

Stranger: dont no

You: well

You: you must be a smelly liberal

You: not wanting the deodorant

You: in denial of your own stench

You: suffering from SAS

You: Smelly ASS Syndrome

You: and you can't get that stank off your buttocks

You: ?

You: you still there?

Stranger: ya

You: well answer me you fucking rancid horse

Stranger: ok

You: sup

You: do you celebrate christmas?

Stranger: no cause i'm muslim

You: fkn terrorist

You have disconnected.

Quickie (01)

Omegle conversation log

2010-11-27

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hello

Stranger: beware, you put me on automatic love

You: time to call 1-800-GET-SOME

Stranger: give it to me

Stranger: like i want it

You: then call

You: you stupid bitch

Stranger: what's the point in living if you dont want to dane?

You: what's the point in fucking when you can stroke your dick for free?

You: ?

Stranger: can't beat the feeling

You: good lord you're boring

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Pwn'd (!)

Omegle conversation log

2010-11-20

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: Heyy!!

You: finally someone who isn't a moron

Stranger: Haha, I know right.

You: it appears that you do

You: so what's up

Stranger: Meh, nothing. My friend is over but he fell asleep. So now I'm just on here with nothing to do.

You: you should finger him

You: he'd' like that

Stranger: I was considering that.

You: i know i would

You: you know what

You: surprise him

You: with

You: surprise buttsecks

Stranger: He would like that a lot.

You: anal penetration would get me out of bed

Stranger: Maybe a surprise blowjob, too.

You: and depending on who's doing it to me

You: would make me stay in bed ;)

Stranger: It's only gay if the balls touch.

You: aw yea

Stranger: ;D

You: it's gay too if the eyes make contact

You: wear your sunglasses

You: 8)

Stranger: *puts on two pairs of shades*

You: ohhh yea

Stranger: I'm ready for this shit.

You: put ur finger in it

You: wow

You: that's so gay

You: have a good life

You have disconnected

All Caps Douchebag

Omegle conversation log

2010-11-20

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: UNDEROATH

You: huh

You: underneath?

Stranger: IT'S A BAND

You: oh

You: ok

Stranger: UNDEORATH

Stranger: <333333

You: does it promote writing in all caps?

You: well

Stranger: NOPE.

You: thank you for sharing your explicit interest in this band

Stranger: I DO THIS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL

You: it does

You: and it makes your penis bigger

Stranger: AND I'M EXCITED THE MAJORITY OF THE TIME.

Stranger: WTF

Stranger: KBYE

You: yes

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

...Codie from canada :)

Omegle conversation log

2010-11-07

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: Hey, I'm Codie from canada :)

You: hi

You: im brian from

You: illinois

Stranger: cool.. how are ya Brian?

You: im good

You: want to be facebook friends?

You: im 19 dw

You: not some random kid

Stranger: umm.. ok man

You: good

Stranger: you know i'm a guy right?

You: now i can see how much of a LOSER YOU TRULY ARE

You: yes

Stranger: haha .. cool :p

You: ikr

Stranger: yea

Stranger: so.. you got any hobbies?

You: yes

You: jacking off, porn, porno, and chess

Stranger: wow.. chess

Stranger: are you really good at it or just for fun?

You: both

Stranger: cool

You: ty

You: so is being gay a lifestyle or a profession for you?

Stranger: hahaha.. i would think its more of a lifestyle

Stranger: any hobbies other than chess ?

You: um

You: advanced weaponry during the renaissance

Stranger: really?

You: yes

You: why dont you believe me

You: you know what...

You: i will put a harpoon through your ass and make it a rape-poon and pull out your fucking intestines with my goddamn american bitch-ass mouth if you deny my authenticity AGAIN, bitch.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Simply Pathetic

Omegle conversation log

2010-10-29

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: wanna see my cock?

You: ;)

You: sure

You: i want to see and soon

You: touch

You: your

Stranger: asl?

You: massive

You: throbbing

You: penis

You: f

You: 19

You: usa

Stranger: http://i.imgur.com/C3N$0R3D.jpg

Stranger: how big r ur boobs

You: you know what a watermelon is right?

You: well

You: they're bigger

Stranger: r they rreally?

You: yes

You: you wanna see e'm

Stranger: yes

Stranger: do u have a webcam or something?

You: yeah

You: just go to this webiste

Stranger: ok

You: www.tripletits.org/jennysonlinecam

You: im online right now

Stranger: ok

You: you pathetic fuck

You have disconnected.